in remembrance

We laid Lola Caring to rest yesterday, September 28, after having lived 86 years.  She gave birth to 13 children, had 33 grandchildren and 27 greatgrandchildren (and these are the only ones we are sure of). 

The last few days spent in Bohol were sad times. It was a family reunion but our beloved matriarch was no longer with us. But in true Rubillar fashion... we sang, we drank, and we celebrated the many happy memories we have with our mama-lola. 

It is sad to think that she will not be there any more offering some humba and kinilaw for us to eat in Vissara or rice for us to bring home to manila. There won't be anyone to call to announce that you're home once again. There won't be any need to ask for Cali because that's her favorite drink. No one to ask permission from when we go have cousin bonding on the sundeck ("Lola, we'll just be drinking juice.")

It is more important to remember the many things she imparted to us...

a love for travel (she's always in some other place visiting a relative)

a sense of frugality (save your plastic cups for another trip to the beach. you never know when you'll need another jollibee cup.)

being strongly independent (until the last days of her life and even in her death, she was always fully capable of providing for herself)

generosity (you can always expect to get something from her whenever there's an occasion)

a love for fun (we all love to sing and dance and we got this from our lola)

I love you Lola. Bohol will not be the same without you. 

I cant remember when you werent there
When I didnt care for anyone but you
I swear weve been through everything there is
Cant imagine anything weve missed
Cant imagine anything the two of us cant do

Through the year, youve never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days Ive found
Ive found with you ... through the years
Ive never been afraid, Ive loved the life weve made
And Im so glad Ive stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I cant remember what I used to do
Who I trusted whom, I listened to before
I swear youve taught me everything I know
Cant imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had, Ive always been so glad
To be with you ... through the years
Its better everyday, youve kissed my tears away
As long as its okay, Ill stay with you
Through the years

- Through the Years by Kenny Rogers

the itchy and scratchy show

There is a shared sense of “lostness,” not because we have nowhere to be. No, we are all lucky enough to be somewhere, but most want to be somewhere else. 

- from an article in the Philippine Star

Lately, i keep on thinking of movement, of being somewhere else, and of doing something different. there are a lot of really good things happen to me here and now. i have a good job (both are good), good friends, a good life. but it feels like being in a good place isn't really all that enough. this year 0809 is a year that i have committed to and i will stay committed to. but i look to what lies ahead and i smile when i think that the whole future is gray and a blur. 

on other fronts, here's an article on the on-going madness that seems to be interesting:

http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/18/diamond-and-kashyap-on-the-recent-financial-upheavals/

the wandering continues

i have my tickets already. 

on the 20th, i am off to Davao to have two sleepless, AIESEC filled days. 

sep 20 

4:30 AM departure

6:30 AM arrival n DVO

8:30 AM start of MSI

5:50 PM end of MSI (With lunch and break in between)

6:00 PM BOA/Parent's night 

8:00 PM freedom... equal to beer and talking to AIESECers. partying is optional. 

Sep 21

6:00 AM leave for the Stamm venue

8:00 AM arrive in resort

10:00 AM start MSI again until everyone's done

4-5 PM leave resort

9PM leave DVO

So that's Davao. crazy. hectic. but i love it!

and i also have my tickets for December already. I love Philippine holidays. the Philippines is officially on a standstill from December 25 - January 1. and i'm going to take a leave from dec 22-24 so i can be home by the 20th and get back to manila on the 1st. woohoo!!! i love the idea of a long break. hmm... i hope i get to go to bora on the 22nd with the rest of my family. 

schedule stabilizing

and i'm back to...

to nightly meetings coz of AIESEC

to a full weekend schedule coz of AIESEC 

to sleeping late at night to chat with people

to reading a book to lull me to sleep

and of course, there's still SCB. 

september is equal to... RBI, MSI, BOA night, Stamm, AOS Extreme, NEB, planning, meeting, and a lot of other little things. 

october is equal to... AOS Extreme (another one), MCOS, NLDS Planning Weekend, NPM, NLDS... two conferences back to back = sudden death but oh joy!

november is well... blank still... but that's going to alumni frenzy month.

december is DECEMBER! Christmas is sacred! oh.alumni homecoming.

january is Natcon, preparation for IPM.

february is IPM!!!! 

march is IPM bringback, the beginning of transition.... 

april is still continuing transition. 

may is DevCon... and then.... *blank* it's over. 

this broadly is my schedule for my year as MCP. yes, i do love to think about schedules and whaht i'll be doing tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. but i also love breaking schedules and doing things on the fly. it's the act of making schedules that i enjoy the most anyway. 

so i do expect this year to fly fast. it's been a lot of fun so far, a lot of learning, a lot of good friends made. we shall just see what happens after.

a line i always say to those who ask me about what's going to happen next. 

i have no plan a for after my term as MCP. i DO have plans b, c, d, and so on. :)

a return to blogging

because i am vain, bored and brain dead (in that order), i decided to google my name and i came across this blog. it's really funny to read old entries and to remember the thoughts that i had a year or two ago. things have changed like crazy over the past year or so. let me point a few things out:

1. i'm working now as an international graduate in standard chartered (a year and almost 3 months now)
2. i'm president of aiesec philippines
3. i haven't been veg-ing, couch potato-ing, or lounging in front of the tv so much. instead i'm either working or partying.

anywho... i came across this colorquiz thing i took a couple of years ago and i decided to take it again. it's really funny how the test results are actually almost spot on.

Free personality analysis of Care.
JUNE 25, 2006

Care's Existing Situation

Having difficulty in standing up to the demands imposed on her. Finds a great effort is involved and wishes to have the situation eased.

Care's Stress Sources

Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest. As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at peace when she has finally reached her goal.

Care's Restrained Characteristics

Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.

Insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic, but needs reassurance and encouragement. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Care's Desired Objective

Wants to make up for what she feels she has missed by living with exaggerated intensity; in this way she feels she can break free from all the things that oppress him.

Care's Actual ProblemThe fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

****************************

Free personality analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Generated on Mon Sep 1 06:42:46 2008.
Your Existing Situation

This represents a barrier between the compensatory colors which precede it and the remaining colors.

Your Stress Sources

Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Exacting in her emotional demands and very particular in her choice of partner. The desire for emotional independence prevents any depth of involvement.

The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Feels rather isolated and alone, but is too reserved to allow herself to form deep attachments. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Your Desired Objective

Wants to make up for what she feels she has missed by living with exaggerated intensity; in this way she feels she can break free from all the things that oppress him.

Your Actual ProblemTakes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.