Restless
I'm back in manila from a relatively long break - relative only to other students here because 3 weeks really isn't that long. Once again I'm experiencing that "I hate that I'm back but I'm glad just the same" feeling. It's always the same right when I get back. I realize that Bohol is so much better than manila and yet I know that when I'm in Bohol, I also ache to get back to manila where my life is. As I always say, my life is in manila and it goes on pause when I'm in Bohol. Maybe there's something wrong with all this compartmentalization. Is it better to have some fluidity in life? Hmm.. how do I explain fluidity... Better to explain compartmentalization first. Fluidity is sort of the opposite of compartmentalization. Compartmentalization is basically saying that I have one life in this place and another life in this place. Basically, what happens in one place (the people, the experiences, the drama) stay in that one place and what happens in another is a different story altogether. Everyone, to some degree, compartmentalizes. There's the work/school life, the family, the religious life, and everything else. But the question I pose is that what if we take out these compartments and really allow the different facets of our lives to mix? What happens at work/school gets brought to the family and your friends know your family... everything gets together in this one messy pool and YOU are at the center of it all. Is this fluidity better? Could it be that my life is just way too compartmentalized? Or! is there a missing ingredient to put it all together (i'm alluding to God once again or maybe not... you tell me)?
Maybe this is why I feel so restless. They say that Asians (in my case, Filipinos) are naturally inclined to communities. The family unit, especially, is a very important part of our lives to the point that few Filipinos actually move out of their parents' home when they start working (there's an economic reason too but many just like being home) I have a different situation. My parents are in the province, my siblings are in another city, and although I love with my cousin and his wife, our schedules don't match. I can say, to a certain degree, I live alone. Now if there were many other people who live alone out here then this should not be a problem. But such is not the case since most people either live with their families or live somewhere near school (which I live far from). Perhaps, it is this situation that has brought out the strong compartmentalization. Even worse, it is probably why I always feel restless. thus bringing about the feeling that I talked about when I began.
Very long line of thought.... but maybe.. I'm just too lazy to actually push myself to go out and do things... I just really like being home, chilling with some people. It's probably the lack of a busy schedule that's getting to me. But I do have a point regarding compartmentalization... Like I said, you tell me what's better (at least for you).
Maybe this is why I feel so restless. They say that Asians (in my case, Filipinos) are naturally inclined to communities. The family unit, especially, is a very important part of our lives to the point that few Filipinos actually move out of their parents' home when they start working (there's an economic reason too but many just like being home) I have a different situation. My parents are in the province, my siblings are in another city, and although I love with my cousin and his wife, our schedules don't match. I can say, to a certain degree, I live alone. Now if there were many other people who live alone out here then this should not be a problem. But such is not the case since most people either live with their families or live somewhere near school (which I live far from). Perhaps, it is this situation that has brought out the strong compartmentalization. Even worse, it is probably why I always feel restless. thus bringing about the feeling that I talked about when I began.
Very long line of thought.... but maybe.. I'm just too lazy to actually push myself to go out and do things... I just really like being home, chilling with some people. It's probably the lack of a busy schedule that's getting to me. But I do have a point regarding compartmentalization... Like I said, you tell me what's better (at least for you).
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