Guilt, belief, love

One more entry on my life's current issue...

According to Ma'am Azada's reading of Marcel's article From Opinion to Faith, Marcel's understanding of belief comes from the image of a loving God, a God that not only loves but loves unconditionally. The question that we must answer then is how do we respond to this love. We love in return. This love, according to Marcel, is most felt when we are disappointed. We are disappointed because we already have a preconceived notion of how God is to answer. But even if we are disappointed, we continue to love and we continue to believe.

The issue for me is guilt. Love comes with responsibility. As Ma'am said, we willingly give up our will not because we are coerced to but because we want to. Now if you say that you truly believe and that you truly love then shouldn't you be willing to give up your will for God? As Harold Sala said in church last Sunday, our living God requires a living sacrifice. We are to continually give up ourselves for God. But this is in no way a requirement. In fact, if we are not willing to do so then don't. But what if we feel that we ought to and yet we are unwilling to do so? How much can you hold on to your desires and truly believe? I feel like the prodigal daughter... although right now, I'm still in the pigsty figuring out if I should go back. We shall see how things are going to go....

I love Philo 103!

One more night of veg-ing in front of the TV. Gotta do my theo papers later. Watching Veronica Mars muna...