issue of faith

I was supposed to post this yesterday but something was wrong with my connection to blogger. Today's a good day. But this is still food for thought.

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We all have our own issues in life. We all have our own little insecurities and our own ways of dealing with these things. What makes us really different as people are the different ways we deal with our issues. I don’t mean to trivialize anyone’s issues but let’s face it. We all go through more or less the same thing but in different magnitudes and forms. Some choose to succumb to temptations. Some choose to cling to faith. Some choose to forget and let life lead the course. We won’t always be happy with our choices. But as I always say, we just have to deal with it.

I’ve been through a whole lot of religious confusion. I don’t actually like calling it religious because it really isn’t about religion but more about my relationship issues with God – calling it religious just makes it easier to prepare the mind for what’s coming. I can’t say that I am perfectly happy with my decision to let life lead its course. At this point, I don’t know what I believe in. I just know that I can’t stop moving. Maybe you could say that these are my issues and my insecurities. But I think that it really is just a matter of recognizing my reality. Actually dealing with it and creating changes is really so much more dependent on choice. I have to wait for my self to feel like choosing this path. Yes. This might be the wrong way to go about things. But this is the way that I am most comfortable with. So bear with me. If you can’t then there’s just nothing you can do but go away.

In order to understand what I’ve been saying, you have to understand that I’ve been a Christian all my life. I was a Sunday school kid. I was in the Youth group. I joined Bible studies. I even became the president of the Christian organization in my high school. I’d like to believe that I had a genuine relationship with Christ. It may have been more about knowledge than about the actual relationship but it was there. I understood what Christianity was all about. I read the Bible from end to end in order to make sure that I knew exactly what I believed in. But I really don’t know… I guess as life gets more complicated, it gets more difficult to hold on to faith.